


Does it matter (in the end)

by Kyky25



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, I was in a bad mood when I wrote this, Pesterlog, Pie, Pity Party, Sad Karkat is sad, Self-Harm, Sorry about Tavros, Suicide, This might not end happy, this was supposed to be a one-shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-19 20:52:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2402477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyky25/pseuds/Kyky25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CG: EVERYONE’S TRYING TO TROLL ME. I GUESS IT’S NICE TO SEE THEY CARE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT ME.<br/>CG: NICE TO SEE I MANAGED TO *NOT* SCREW UP A SINGLE ASPECT OF MY MISERABLE EXISTENCE.<br/>CG:  IF ANY OF THIS MANAGES TO SOAK INTO YOUR SLIME-ADDLED PAN PLEASE TELL THEM TO FORGET ABOUT ME.<br/>CG: I NEVER MATTERED IN THE END.<br/>CG: NOTHING EVER FUCKING WELL DOES.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> I've been toying around with the idea of this story for a while now, and I needed a distraction from a not-good mood so look what came out. It seems most my writing stems from my bad moods.
> 
> This was going to be a one-shot but then things got a bit long and I started getting tired so I decided stopping before my writing degraded too much was a good idea.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] \-- 

CG: ERIDAN. YOU’RE A DOUCHE BAG OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE AND A POMPOUS ASSHOLE TO BOOT. YOU’RE ANNOYING, WHINY, CLINGY AND YOU NEVER LISTEN TO WHAT I TELL YOU. THAT SAID, YOU’RE NOT THAT BAD A GUY. I’M SORRY I NEVER COULD GIVE YOU GOOD ENOUGH ADVICE WHEN IT CAME TO YOUR QUADRANTS (WHICH I AM STILL NOT FUCKING INTERESTED IN BEING A PART OF SO DON’T TAKE THIS AS FLIRTING OR ANY OTHER MORONIC IDEAS THAT WORM THEIR WAY INTO YOUR SEA-SPONGE OF A THINKPAN) AND I’M SORRY THAT YOU AND FEFERI NEVER WORKED OUT. I HOPE THAT SOME DAY YOU’LL FIND SOMEONE WILLING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR COMPLAINING FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE AND YOU’LL BE HAPPY TOGETHER.  
CG: YOUR CAPE IS STILL STUPID THOUGH.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] –-

CA: kar?

 

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] \--

CG: NEPETA, YOU’RE FRANKLY AN INSANE CAT GIRL AND AN AMAZING HUNTER. THERE’RE NOT REALLY MUCH ELSE I CAN SAY TO YOU. OTHER THAN I’M SORRY I NEVER PAID ATTENTION TO YOU. I THINK I WAS SCARED OF GETTING CLOSE, OF DISAPPOINTING YOU. OF DESTROYING THE ONE WORTHWHILE VERSION OF ME THERE IS, EVEN IF IT WAS JUST A MAKE-BELIEVE FANTASY YOU HAD OF ME. YEAH, I KNEW ABOUT YOUR FLUSH CRUSH, PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE DOES. YOU CAN BE *REALLY* UNSUBTLE AT TIMES. BUT YEAH, I’M SORRY THAT PAST ME WAS TOO MUCH OF A FUCKING COWARD TO FACE YOU AND NOW PRESENT ME IS STUCK DEALING WITH HIS SCREW-UPS YET AGAIN. AT LEAST THIS TIME I WON’T BE GIVING FUTURE ME ANYTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.  
CG: KARKAT LEAVES AC’S CAVE FOR GOOD.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] \--

AC: :33 < *ac watches him go worriedly*

 

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling grimAuxillatrix [GA] \--

CG: HEY KANAYA. FUCK, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I’M BOTHERING TO DO THIS ANYMORE. CA AND AC WERE KINDA EASY BECAUSE I GUESS I KIND OF STOPPED TALKING TO THEM RECENTLY, BUT FROM YOU ONWARDS IT’S GOING TO BE JUST- AAARRGH! I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M BOTHERING WITH ANY OF THIS. MAYBE PART OF ME JUST WANTS TO SAY GOODBYE TO EVERYONE ONE LAST TIME? I GUESS IT’S BETTER THAN JUST STOPPING CONTACT WITH NO WARNING. WE ALL KNOW HOW BADLY THAT ENDS UP GOING. ANYWAY, I WANTED TO SAY I’M SORRY. FOR EVERYTHING I’VE DONE TO YOU AND TO EVERYONE AND FOR ALL THE TROUBLE I’VE CAUSED. I’VE NEVER MANAGED TO ACHIEVE A SINGLE FUCKING THING IN THE WHOLE OF MY PISS POOR EXISTENCE AND I DON’T SEE THAT CHANGING ANYTIME SOON UNLESS I DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. WHICH I’M GOING TO DO NOW.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling grimAuxillatrix [GA] \--

GA: Karkat What Are You Talking About  
GA: What Are You Going To Do

 

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] \--

CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M STILL DOING THIS, IT’S ONLY GETTING WORSE. BUT FOR ONCE I’M GOING TO FINISH WHAT I FUCKING WELL STARTED. SOLLUX, YOU LISPING, BULGE-SUCKING, MUTANT BRAINED ASSHOLE, YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND THAT I COULD EVER HAVE POSSIBLY HOPED TO COME ACROSS AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SADISTIC DEITY DECIDED TO GIVE UP ON MAKING ME A HALFWAY DECENT LIFE AFTER MAKING MY FRIENDS BUT I’M GLAD HE GOT THAT FAR. PLEASE DON’T EVER GIVE IN TO THE VOICES TELLING YOU TO GIVE UP; WE CAN’T BOTH THROW OUT LIVES AWAY. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND WHEN THE DRONES COME TO COLLECT YOU FOR PILOT DUTY FIGHT AS HARD AS YOU FUCKING CAN AND TAKE AS MANY OF THEM OUT WITH YOU AS POSSIBLE. YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME AT EVERYTHING; CODING, GAMING, FUCK, EVEN QUADRANTS. I KNOW YOU’LL BE FINE. PLEASE BE FINE FOR ME.  
CG: (fuck this next one is going to hurt.)

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] \--

TA: 2hiit KK what2 goiing on?  
TA: plea2e tell me youre not thiinkiing of doiing what ii thiink youre thiinkiing of doiing.  
TA: fuck, that 2entence confu2e2 even me.  
TA: ju2t, troll me, would you?

 

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] \--

CG: TEREZI I  
CG: FUCK I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE.  
CG: I JUST  
CG: I CAN’T  
CG: I PITY YOU, BUT IT WOULD NEVER WORK.  
CG: THAT’S ALL THERE IS FOR ME TO SAY ON THE MATTER.  
CG: GOODBYE.  
CG: <3

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] \--

GC: I JUST GOT SOM3 V3RY WORRY1NG M3SS4G3S FROM SOLLUX 4ND NOW YOUV3 PROF3SS3D YOUR P1TY FOR M3 B3FOR3 RUNN1NG 4W4Y  
GC: TH1S 1S R34LLY NOT L1K3 YOU K4RK4T  
GC: JUST T4LK TO US PL34S3, W3 C4N SORT TH1NGS OUT

 

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] \--

CG: GAMZEE?  
CG: IF EVER THERE WAS A SINGLE FUCKING TIME FOR YOU TO BE SPACED OUT ON YOUR LATEST BATCH OF PAN-ROTTING TOXIC PIES INSTEAD OF ON YOUR HUSKTOP NOW IS NOT THAT FUCKING TIME.  
CG: …  
CG: I GUESS YOU’LL JUST GET THIS LATER THEN.  
CG: I’M SORRY.  
CG: I’M SO FUCKING SORRY I WASN’T THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED ME.  
CG: EARLIER THIS SWEEP WHEN THE DRONES  
CG: WHEN TAVROS LEFT, NO ONE EXPECTED YOU TO TAKE IT AS BAD AS YOU DID, LEAST OF ALL ME.  
CG: I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TO HELP YOU THROUGH THINGS. FUCK, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TO HELP HIM HIDE. FUCK KNOWS I UNDERSTAND HOW TO KEEP HIDDEN FROM THE DRONES AND SURVIVE.  
CG: BUT I DIDN’T HELP, HIM OR YOU.  
CG: AND NOW I CAN’T REALLY HIDE ANY LONGER.  
CG: I ALWAYS KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME, BUT, LIKE THE FUCKING IDIOT THAT I AM, I THOUGHT I COULD SOMEHOW ESCAPE AND SURVIVE LONG ENOUGH TO GET OFF THIS WASTE CHUTE OF A PLANET.  
CG: HA.  
CG: I EVEN USED TO THINK I’D BE ABLE TO GET INTO THE MILITARY AND BECOME A THRESHECUTIONER.  
CG: I WAS SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT WIGGLER BACK THEN. I GUESS NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED.  
CG: BUT AT LEAST THIS WAY I GET SOME SAY IN WHAT HAPPENS TO ME.  
CG: I’VE SAID MY GOODBYES, IT WAS JUST YOU LEFT.  
CG: FUCK KNOWS WHY, MAYBE I THOUGHT SOME OF YOUR FAKE AS SHIT MIRACLES WOULD RUB OFF ON ME AND CONVINCE ME TO HANG AROUND A BIT LONGER.  
CG: BUT THAT WAS NEVER GOING TO WORK. YOU’VE BEEN OFF WITH THE SPARKLE-CREATURES EVEN MORE LATELY, BUT I GUESS THAT’S JUST YOUR WAY OF COPING.  
CG: MAYBE IF YOU’RE LUCKY YOU WON’T EVEN NOTICE I’M GONE.  
CG: YOU CAN JUST LIVE OUT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN UNKNOWING BLISS, PLAYING WITH THE PRETTY COLORS OR WHATEVER OTHER HOOFBEASTSHIT HAPPINESS YOU GET WHEN YOU’RE HIGH ON SOPOR.  
CG: EVERYONE’S TRYING TO TROLL ME. I GUESS IT’S NICE TO SEE THEY CARE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT ME.  
CG: NICE TO SEE I MANAGED TO *NOT* SCREW UP A SINGLE ASPECT OF MY MISERABLE EXISTENCE.  
CG: IF ANY OF THIS MANAGES TO SOAK INTO YOUR SLIME-ADDLED PAN PLEASE TELL THEM TO FORGET ABOUT ME.  
CG: I NEVER MATTERED IN THE END.  
CG: NOTHING EVER FUCKING WELL DOES.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] \--


	2. Memo

\-- CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board doe2 anyone know what the fuck ii2 goiing on? --

CTA: openiing thii2 becau2e 2omethiing ii2 up with KK and we need two know iif anyone ha2 any iidea of what.  
\-- CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo --  
CGC: H3S S3NT SOM3 3XTR3M3LY 4L4RM1NG M3SS4G3S 4ND SOM3TH1NG D3F1N1T3LY SM3LLS OFF 4BOUT TH3M  
CGC: D1D H3 T3LL 4NYBODY WH4T 4LL TH1S 1S 4BOUT?  
\-- CURRENT caligulasAquarium [CCA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo --  
CCA: no but it definitely didnt sound like kar  
CCA: he complimented me an evveryfin  
CGC: TH4T 1S C3RT41NLY STR4NG3  
CGC: WHY 4NYON3 WOULD W4NT TO COMPL1M3NT YOU 1 DON’T KNOW  
CCA: aww come on  
CTA: guy2, a2 much a2 ii would normally love two tea2e ED now ii2 not the tiime.  
CTA: KK’2 2tiill not replyiing two any of my me22age2 and ii’m gettiing really worriied.  
\-- CURRENT grimAuxillatrix [CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo --  
CGA: Sollux Is Right  
CGA: Now Is Not The Time To Bicker  
CGA: I Was Already Alarmed When Reading Karkats Missive And Discovering That He Sent Equally Worrying Messages To Others Is Not Calming  
CCA: mine wwasnt wworryin just wweird  
\-- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo --  
CAC: :33 < *the mighty huntress pads into the memo*  
CAC: :33 < same here!  
CTA: well miine wa2 pretty fuckiing alarmiing. KN, what exactly diid he 2ay two you?  
CGA: To Put It Succinctly  
CGA: I Am Sorry  
CGA: Goodbye  
CTA: 2hiit.  
CAC: :33 < did you guys seriously know about my crush on karkat?  
CCA: yep  
CGC: Y3S  
CGA: Oh Did He Finally Mention That To You  
CTA: 2hiit.  
CAC: :OO < really!?  
CAC: :33 < well this is just purrfectly ridiculous then X//  
CAC: :33 < *ac buries face in paws*  
CTA: 2hiit 2hiit 2hiit 2hiit oh fuckiing 2hiit.  
CGC: >:?  
CTA: thii2 ii2 bad thii2 iis bad thii2 ii2 REALLY REALLY bad.  
CGA: What Is Bad Sollux  
CCA: yeah care to explain wwhat all the fuckin expletivves are about  
CTA: doe2 anyone have the coordiinate2 of KK’s hiive?  
CTA: 2omeone need2 two get two hiim a2 2oon a2 po22iible.  
CAC: :33 < *ac pokes head back out and raises a paw*  
CTA: NOW II2 NOT THE NOT THE TIIME TWO BE FUCKIING ROLEPLAYING AC.  
CTA: KK COULD BE 2IITTIING IIN THE ABLUTIION CHAMBER READY TWO 2LIICE HII2 OWN AIIR TUNNEL AND YOU’RE JU2T 2IITTIING ON THE FLOOR OF YOUR 2HIITTY CAVE OFF IIN YOUR FANTA2Y LAND WHEN YOU 2HOULD BE FUCKIING HELPIING FOR ONCE!  
\-- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] sent the file karkittyshive.fla --  
\-- CAC ceased responding to memo --  
CTA: 2hiit.  
CCA: that wwas a bit harsh sol  
CTA: ii know ii ju2t  
CTA: AC iif you’re 2tiill readiing any of the worthle22 crap ii’m 2poutiing from my iignorance 2haft ii’m 2orry.  
CGA: Did You Mean What You Said About Karkat Culling Himself  
CTA: ye2. iit’2 what he wa2 iimplyiing iin hii2 me22age2.  
CTA: moon2 know ii’ve nearly wriitten enough of them two recognize a 2uiiciide note.  
CGA: Shit  
CCA: fuckin hell kar wwhatvve you done  
CTA: we need two get two hiim before he goe2 through wiith iit.  
CCA: wwho livves closest to his hivve  
CCA: it wwould take me ten minutes on my lusus  
CTA: not fa2t enough. ii can get there in two iif ii pu2h hard enough.  
CGA: Do Not Burn Yourself Out Sollux  
CGA: You Would Be No Good To Anyone If You Collapsed Halfway Through Your Flight And Fell  
\-- CTA switched devices --  
CTA: ii’ll be fiine, ii’m not the one two worry about.  
CTA: chat 2oon, my head2et doe2n’t like p2iioniic2.  
\-- CTA ceased responding to memo --  
CCA: i think im gonna head ovver there too  
CCA: if somefin goes wwrong sol needs someone to stop him blowwing up the neighborhood  
CGA: I Do Not Think Sollux Would Appreciate Any Pale Solicitation From You At Any Time  
CGA: Certainly Not At A Time Like This  
CCA: fuck does evverything alwways havve to be about my quadrants  
CCA: wwhat if for once i just wwanted to help a friend  
CCA: wwhat if im wworried about kar too and wwant to see if hes okay  
CGA: I Apologise  
CGA: I Often Forget How Close Friends You Are At Times  
CCA: yeah seems like that happens to too many trolls  
CGA: Nevertheless  
CGA: Both Sollux And Karkat Could Probably Do With A Hand  
CGA: But Do Keep Things Platonic  
CGA: You Have A Habit of Letting Your Emotions Run Rampant  
CCA: yeah yeah wwhatevver  
CCA: troll you later kan  
\-- CCA ceased responding to memo --  
CGA: Terezi  
CGA: Are You Still There  
CGA: You Are being Awfully Quiet  
CGC: 1M H3R3  
CGA: Are You Okay  
CGC: Y3S  
CGC: …  
CGC: NO  
CGA: It Will Be Okay  
CGA: Two Of Karkats Best Friends Are Heading Towards Him  
CGA: They Will Get To Him In Time And Sort Things Out  
CGA: Everything Will Be Fine  
CGC: DO YOU R34LLY B3L13V3 TH4T?  
CGA: Yes  
CGA: No  
CGA: But I Really Wish I Did  
CGC: SO DO 1  
\-- CGC ceased responding to memo --  
\-- CGA ceased responding to memo --

\-- TROLLIAN closed memo due to EMPTY MEMO --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This really could go either way. Should Sollux get there in time or not?
> 
> What sort of ending do you want?  
> Please comment and we'll make this a bit of a vote.


	3. Not paint

SOLLUX: KK!  
SOLLUX: KK YOU FUCKIING WELL LET ME IIN THII2 IIN2TANT OR II 2WEAR II WIILL BLOW THII2 DOOR OFF IIT’2 HINGE2!  
SOLLUX: YOU A2KED FOR IIT!  
SOLLUX: you had better 2tiill be aliive iin there a22hole or ii wiill fiind a way two briing you back two liife ju2t 2o ii can kiill you agaiin.  
SOLLUX: where the fuck are you?  
SOLLUX: KK? 2peak two me would you?  
SOLLUX: plea2e tell me you diidn’t-  
SOLLUX: KK, what’2 all thii2 red comiing from the ablutiion chamber?  
SOLLUX: diid you 2laughter a bea2t iin there or-  
SOLLUX: KK?  
SOLLUX: oh 2hiit what have you done? KK? plea2e tell me that’2 ju2t red paiint. plea2e ju2t be paiint plea2e ju2t be paiint plea2e ju2t be paiint. ha ha, ok, make-beliive tiime ii2 over!  
SOLLUX: oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit oh 2hiit

 

\-- CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board oh 2hiit oh 2hiit doe2 anyone know fiir2t aiid? --

CTA: fuck guy2 thii2 ii2 bad thii2 ii2 really really bad.  
CTA: ii ju2t dragged KK out of the ablutiion trap.  
CTA: there’2 red everywhere.  
CTA: briight fuckiing red everwhere!  
CTA: diid anyone el2e know hii2 blood wa2 fuckiing candy red becau2e ii 2ure a2 hell diidn’t!  
CTA: ha ha!  
CTA: 2hiit why am ii griiniing?  
\-- CURRENT grimAuxillatrix [CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo --  
CGA: Shit  
CGA: Sollux Take A Deep Breath You Are Panicking  
CTA: paniickiing? who 2aiid anythiing about paniickiing?  
CTA: ii’m perfectly fiine and dandy whiile MY BE2T FUCKIING FRIIEND II2 BLEEDING OUT MUTANT BLOOD.  
CGA: Sollux You Are Not The Only One Worried About Losing A Friend  
CTA: 2orry.  
CTA: fuck, my hand2 are 2hakiing two much two feel a pul2e.  
CGA: If He Is Bleeding Out It Is Unlikely You would Find Much Of one Anyway  
CTA: KN diid you ju2t forget two capiitaliize 2ome word2?  
CGA: Sollux!  
CGA: Focus!  
CGA: You Need To Check If Hes Still Breathing  
CTA: okay, okay. no need two 2hout.  
CTA: yeah, ii can feel a breath. iit’2 weak but iit’2 there.  
CGA: Good  
CGA: You Must Put Pressure On the Wounds To Stop Them Bleeding  
CGA: Eridan Is On His Way To Help Any Way He Can  
CGA: I  
CGA: I Need To Go  
CGA: If You Require More Assistance Do Not Hesitate To Ask  
\-- CGA is now an idle troll --  
CTA: 2hiit.  
CTA: how could one troll have thii2 much blood iin them?  
CTA: why diid you do iit KK?  
CTA: pleas2e don’t go.  
\-- CTA is now an idle troll --

 

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] \--

CA: sol  
\-- CTA is an idle troll --  
CA: sol howws kar doin  
CA: im about a minute awway from his hivve  
CA: seahorsedad is really tired from goin so far so fast but i dont givve a shit  
CA: wwhich one is kars house  
CA: uh  
CA: ill assume its the one wwith a smashed in door and red an blue sparks flashin about the place  
CA: please dont try to blast me wwhen i come in

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karkat will live, don't fret. I'm just a mean and cruel author who decided to hurt the characters first and then make you wait for the next update.
> 
> Waiting should only be an hour or so, though. I'm just doing a change of writing style to account for increased action and decreased talking in the next part and thought a chapter break would be appropriate.


	4. A change in perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings for: Self-harm, blood, slightly graphic descriptions, fluff and Eridan feels.
> 
> Please do not hate me if I have stuffed anything up when it comes to helping Karkat or Eridan's story, all the experience I have comes from stories off the internet and obfusticated things from friends and I didn't exactly feel like doing more research into this particular topic.

Eridan landed his lusus cautiously on Karkat’s front lawnring, wary of the unnaturally coloured sparks leaping about the walls of the hive. Leaping off the back of the panting seahorse he strode towards the doorway with a speed that usually would have made his cape flare out behind him dramatically. But tonight he hadn’t bothered with the cape, and his speed was based more around worry than making an entrance.

He picked his way over scraps of door-remains, jumping out of the way of a rather large blue spark aimed for his elbow. Passing through the otherwise neat and tidy hive Eridan jumped in shock when a loud _thump_ came from the door to his left, as if something heavy had thrown itself against the barred portal. It was quickly followed by another, then a high-pitched _skreeeeeee!_ eminated from the locked room. Eridan put it down to Karkat’s lusus trying to get to his charge.

“A course he’d lock his lusus up, w-wouldn’t w-want it to try an’ stop him after all,” Eridan muttered under his breath, mentally cursing his stutter playing up under the stress.

He found his way to some stairs, hesitating at the bottom before calling up.

“Sol! Sol, are you up there? _Fuck_.” He leapt up the stairs three at a time, bursting into what seemed to be Karkat’s respiteblock. “Sol, w-where the fuck _are_ you?”

Glancing around he noticed a second door in the room that was slightly ajar, flickering lights creeping around the edges.

“Sol?” he asked cautiously, pushing the door completely open. The sight that awaited him was nearly enough to make him sick.

There was bright red blood coating the half-filled ablution trap and leaving a watery trail on the floor to where two bodies were huddled. The red stained their clothing and dripped onto the tiles from wrists that were clenched in slender and shaking hands. Sollux was kneeling on the ground, holding his too-pale, too limp friend close as if he thought holding tight enough would keep Karkat from leaving him for good. Red and blue lightning emanated from the yellow-blood, bathing the whole room in a flickering glow.

Eridan stepped inside hurriedly, reaching over to take the unconscious form from the distraught boy, but as soon as he came into contact with either of them Sollux’s psionics flared. The electric shock was enough to send the seadweller flying back into the wall, landing next to an abandoned pair of computerised glasses.

“Fuck, Sol, it’s me! Didn’t Kan say I w-was comin’ to help?”

The psionic didn’t reply, but when Eridan reached over this time there was nothing more than a small static shock. Sollux’s grip slowly loosened on Karkat’s unconscious form as Eridan scooped the small troll up and moved him to his respiteblock floor. The seadweller busied himself in finding pillows and books to place underneath Karkat’s feet to elevate them, then took off his grubsilk scarf and tore it lengthways, using the strips as makeshift bandages.

As he was tying tight knots in the once-expensive fabric Eridan heard movement from the ablutions chamber. Sollux, who had stayed in his prone position throughout Eridan’s ministering, now slouched against the doorframe between rooms.

“How the fuck are you tho calm about thith?” his voice was hoarse and tracks of yellow were smeared down his gaunt face from where he had been crying.

“Because panickin’ isn’t gonna help Kar out one bit,” Eridan responded, voice unnaturally even as he stood. He walked back into the ablutions chamber, careful to edge around Sollux, and found a hand-towel which he dampened under the tap. Returning to Karkat’s side he began to dab away at the ruby-blood and clean the boy up.

“Yeah, but he jutht tried to fucking _cull_ himthelf! Aren’t you worried about that at all?”

“A course I’m worried, he’s my friend. That still doesn’t mean panickin’ will help.”

“But what about hith _blood_!?” by this point Sollux was pacing around the block, throwing his red-coated hands in the air, dual-coloured eyes wide and unblinking. “Doethn’t it freak you out that it’th _bright freaking red_!? I thought you’d be all over culling a mutant mithter high-and-fucking-mighty theadweller printhe!”

“He’s. My. _Friend_.” Eridan repeated, gritting his teeth. “And you are just freakin’ out. If you’re not gonna help then you can fuckin’ w-well w-wait downstairs.”

“I’m thorry,” said Sollux after taking a deep breath and seemingly getting his act together. He knelt down on the opposite side of Karkat and took his hand, squeezing it in his own as if he could will the boy to wake up. There were several seconds of silence where Sollux watched the slight rise and fall of Karkat’s chest and Eridan continued cleaning up, staining the towel.

“Did you know he wath a mutant blood?” Sollux asked softly, not looking up from his friend’s chest.

“I suspected so. W-we had a discussion on symbols a while back an when he told me about his I recognised it from one a my history books. Nevver actually asked him about it though, that w-would be unconscionable.” Eridan smiled wryly, also refusing to look up from Karkat.

Sollux snorted slightly, a lopsided smile also gracing his features.

“How do you know what to do tho well? I theriouthly doubt you took a firtht aid courthe or antything.”

Eridan’s smile was quickly replaced by a scowl. Unspeaking, he rose from the floor and strode back into the ablutions chamber and turned on the tap above the sink. He rolled his blood-smeared sleeves up and began to rinse out the towel. Sollux looked up and the violet-blood and glimpsed faint white scars on otherwise unblemished grey skin. They were far too straight and even to be accidental. The psionic hastily looked away, not wanting to be caught staring.

When Eridan returned his long black sleeves were covering his forearms again and he went back to dabbing at Karkat’s bloodied flesh. Sollux silently watched his hands move methodically and cautiously around the already soaked bandages, occasionally glancing up to see the worried but caring look on the seadweller’s face. They stayed like this for a while before Eridan finally broke the silence.

“It was a bit over a sweep ago,” he spoke calmly, stutter barely registering in his speech. “I started not long after Fef dumped me. At first I think it was because I thought it would get her ta notice me again, get her to come back ta me. Then it was because it blocked out the pain. Yeah, it still hurt, but it was a hurt that I could control. I did it because I was bored an dumb an lonely. And then it became a habit. And I think you know how hard it is ta stop a bad habit.”

Sollux nodded slightly, refusing to admit to himself that not all the pity he felt at the moment was for Karkat.

“One night my knife slipped. I cut a little too hard, a little too deep. That’s when I realised that I didn’t wanna die. That I didn’t want ta keep doin’ what I was doing. I panicked a course, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was, and it was only one wrist, so I bandaged it up an wore thick jackets for a while. I put a stop to it all. Yeah, I relapsed a few times, but Kar really helped me through. I don’t think he realised he was helpin’ me, I never told him about any a it. But just talking ta someone about _anything_ helped. 

“Eventually I lost all want, all need, to cut and I realised just how pale I was for Kar. I guess I’ve always been pale for him, I just never saw it. An it’s not like he evver seemed like he needed anyw-one back.”

Sollux looked up when he heard the stutter. Eridan was still dabbing at Karkat’s pale-grey skin, but violet tears were dripping down his face and off his chin. Before the yellow-blood could do or say anything the seadweller abruptly stood, scrubbing at his face with a sleeve and dropping the damp and bloody towel on the floor.

“I’m gonna go see if there’s any juice in the refrigerator. Thermal hull. W-whatevver. Kar’ll need to get some liqu-wids in him w-when he w-wakes an the sugar’ll be good.”

With that he strode downstairs, leaving Sollux alone with his unconscious friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's been a bit longer than the aforementioned timeframe, stuff happened and I got distracted. Next chapter we'll be going back to the trolllog/dialoglog format, we'll only have chapters like this occasionally.
> 
>  
> 
> Just for clarification, this story takes place when the trolls (the still living ones) are two perigees short of being 8 sweeps and getting kicked off Alternia.  
> Other significant (and not-so significant) things that have happened in these two sweeps or in this AU:  
> \- Aradia's ghost never became corporeal enough to talk to the trolls after she died. However, she still haunts the dreams of some of her friends and tries to guide them like that. Sollux in particular.  
> \- Tavros got discovered by the drones and culled for being defective a few perigees after turning 7 sweeps old.  
> \- Sollux had a brief flushed fling with Feferi when they were six, but it didn't work out so they agreed on a mutual split.  
> \- Until this story started nothing overly special happened to Karkat, Nepeta, Kanaya, Terezi, or Equius.  
> \- However, Terezi did become addicted to the troll version of Phoenix Wright games for several perigees.  
> \- Vriska went on the run and hasn't been heard of since Tavros' death. It is suspected, but not confirmed, that her crimes have to do with trying to rescue him, killing several drones after they culled him and/or feeding some Very Important Trolls to her lusus, which was discovered dead by Equius around the same time as her disappearance.  
> \- Gamzee, after hearing of Tavros' fate, went sober for a week and was only calmed when Equius and Eridan restrained him and fed him sopor intravenously. Since then he has doubled his sopor intake and is rarely off his cloud for long enough to contact the others. Karkat was mysteriously unreachable during much of the incident.  
> \- Eridan was dumped by Feferi when they were six and a half, leading to what he described in the chapter. He no longer helps her feed her lusus and although they are still friends of a sort they rarely talk.  
> \- Feferi has spent the last half-sweep dealing with politics and preparations for her exit of the homeworld. Due to this she has not had much contact with many of her old friends.


	5. What to do?

\-- CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board 2crew thii2 ii’m ju2t goiing two u2e thii2 board for everythiing --

CTA: update on KK’2 2tatu2: 2table but uncon2iou2.   
CTA: update on my paniickiing: at manageable level2.   
CTA: update on ED’s usefullne22: very hiigh, but don’t tell hiim ii 2aiid that.   
CTA: he’2 actually pretty good when iit come2 to a crii2ii2.   
\-- CURRENT caligulasAquarium [CCA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo --   
CCA: aww thanks sol   
CTA: nevermiind, compliiment revoked.   
CTA: you’re ju2t a2 much of an annoyiing priick a2 alway2.   
CCA: i barely evven said anything   
CTA: ye2 but you diid 2ay 2omethiing, and that’2 all iit took.   
\-- CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo --   
CGC: 4S D3L1C1OUS 4S 1T WOULD NORM4LLY B3 TO W4TCH M1ST3RS 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST 4ND SOUR GR4P3 4RGU3 NOW 1SNT TH3 T1M3   
CGC: WH4T H4PP3N3D OV3R TH3R3?   
CTA: KK 2liit hii2 wrii2t2 wiith one of hii2 2iickles. we got two hiim before he bled out and patched hiim up, but he’2 2tiill not wakiing up.   
CCA: i think you mean i patched him up   
CCA: all you did wwas stand there and yell at me   
CTA: fiir2tly, ii already 2aiid ii wa2 2orry about that   
CTA: 2econdly, 2hut up   
CGC: 1S H3 GO1NG TO B3 OK4Y?   
CCA: yeah   
CCA: he lost a lotta blood but hopefully hell pull through   
CCA: reely he needs a hospitroll but theres no wway in hell a doctoradicator wwont cull him on sight   
CGC: SO TH3 BLOOD TH1NG 1S TRUE   
CTA: yeah, iit’2 the 2ame color a2 that 2tupiid red chalk you u2ed two eat.   
CGC: H3H3H3   
CGC: BUT 4LSO   
CGC: >:[   
CTA: yeah   
CCA: yeah   
CGC: >:/   
CGC: SO WH4T 4R3 W3 GO1NG TO DO?   
CTA: waiit untiil he wake2 up ii 2uppo2e. there’2 not much el2e we CAN do at thii2 2tage.   
CGC: 1 M34NT 4FT3RW4RDS 4ND YOU KNOW TH4T   
CGC: 1TS NOT 4S IF H3S GOT 4NYON3 TO K33P 4N 3Y3 ON H1M 4LL N1GHT 3V3RY N1GHT   
CCA: wwell   
CTA: we’ll all do iit. he can come liive 2omeone’2 hiive or we can take turn2 vii2iitiing hii2.   
CTA: ED and ii wiill do iit for now and 2ee how thiing2 go.   
\-- CURRENT grimAuxillatrix [CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo --   
CGA: Forgive Me For Having My Doubts But   
CGA: Will You Two Really Be Able To Live Together For An Extended Period Of Time Without Fighting   
CGC: M1SS MINTLEAF H3R3 H4S 4 PO1NT   
CGC: YOU TWO 4R3NT R3ALLY KNOWN FOR YOUR 4B1L1TY TO G3T 4LONG   
CCA: they make a fair point sol   
CTA: 2hut up. you’re not meant two be the ratiional one.   
CCA: im fine wwith lookin after kar on my owwn you knoww   
CCA: ivve dealt wwith this kind a thing before   
CCA: an its not as if you wwere much help wwhen it came dowwn to it anywway sol   
CGC: 1 DONT TRUST YOU ALON3 W1TH K4RK4T   
CGA: Frankly Neither Do I   
CGA: I Realise That You Are Close Friends But Even If He Were Not A Mutant Blood He Is Still In An Extremely Pitiable State And You Are   
CGA: Well   
CGA: You   
CCA: an wwhat exactly is that supposed to mean   
CGC: 1T M34NS TH4T K4RK4T H4S S41D NO TO B31NG 1N 4NY OF YOUR QU4DR4NTS SO M4NY T1M3S B3FOR3 SO WHY WOULD W3 L3T YOU N34R H1M NOW?   
CCA: wwell fuck you vvery much ter   
CCA: you too kan   
CCA: i thought i could trust you   
CTA: ii actually thiink that lettiing ED take care of KK ii2n’t that bad an iidea.   
CTA: obviiou2ly not long term, but ii can’t 2tay here for two long and you two liive half a contiinent over.

 

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] \--

CA: thanks sol you havve no idea howw much that means to me   
TA: ii’m not doiing iit for you ii’m doiing iit for KK.   
TA: he need2 2omeone there for hiim riight now and the only other troll ii’d con2iider even halfway decent liive2 iin the miiddle of a fuckiing de2ert.   
CA: yeah but you still just called me halfway decent   
TA: iif ii hear another word from your 2tupiid rubbery fii2h liip2 ii’ll take back everythiing ii ju2t 2aid and boot you out of thii2 hiive.

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] \--

 

CGC: WH4T >:O   
CGA: What   
CGC: DO3S MY SN1FFNOD3 D3C13V3 M3?   
CGC: D1D 1 R34LLY JUST W1TN3SS SOLLUX C4PTOR OF 4LL TROLLS ST4ND UP FOR 3R1D4N 4MPOR4?   
CGA: I Believe You Just Did   
CGA: I Believe We Both Did   
CTA: yeah, yeah. enjoy iit whiile you can becau2e iit ii2n’t goiing two happen agaiin.   
CGC: 1 4M SCR33NSHOTT1NG TH1S   
CTA: do that and ii’ll send you a viiru2 that turn2 everythiing on your hu2ktop beiige.   
CGC: BLUH >XO~   
CGC: F1N3   
CGA: So Now What   
CCA: i guess sol an i wwill wwait here until kar wwakes up   
CCA: then wwell figure out wwhat to do   
CGA: But What To Do Until Then   
\-- CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo --   
CTC: lOoK aT aLl ThEsE mOtHeRfUcKiNg BiTcHtItS rAiNbOw CoLoRs AlL sCaTtErEd Up AnD aBoUt ThIs PlAcE.   
CTC: wHaT eXcItInG nEw MiRaClEs HaVe I mIsSeD mY iNvErTeBrOtHeRs? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Gamzee, stage left.
> 
> CTA: well 2hiit.  
> CTA: bag2 not telliing hiim.


	6. Pie

CTA: well 2hiit.   
CTA: bag2 not telliing hiim.   
CGA: Sollux   
CTA: what? you really thiink ii’m the riight per2on two tell hiim what’2 happened?   
CGA: Well No But Still   
CGC: G4MZ33   
CGC: D1D YOU G3T 4NY W31RD M3SS4G3S FROM K4RK4T R3C3NTLY?   
CTC: YeAh.   
CTC: He WaS gOiNg On AbOuT aPoLoGiEs AnD lEaViNg AnD fOrGeTtInG AnD sUcH.   
CGC: D1D H3 S4Y 4NYTH1NG 3LS3?   
CTC: nOtHiNg NiGgLiNg At My ThInKpAn My MiRaClE sIs.   
CTC: HeY, hAs AnYoNe EvEr ToLd YoU yOu’Ve GoT sOmE dIgItS sCaTtErEd In WiTh ThOsE bLuE-gReEn LeTtErS oF yOuRs?   
CGC: Y3S, G4MZEE >:/   
CTA: thii2 iis hopele22. there’2 no way we’ll be able two driill iit iinto hiis thiick 2kull that KK’2   
CTA: well   
CTC: WhAt WaS tHaT aBoUt My BeSt BrO?   
CCA: gamzee   
CCA: i need you to focus on my wwords here   
CCA: not the color an not the letters   
CCA: the meanin a the wwords   
CCA: can you do that   
CTC: sUrE cAn My FiShY fRiEnD.   
CCA: kar is a bit sick at the moment   
CCA: its nofin too bad but me an sol are just lookin after him for a little wwhile   
CTC: aW dAmN.   
CTC: dOeS a MoThErFuCkEr NeEd SoMe GeT wElL hUgS aNd PiEs?   
CCA: no   
CCA: you dont need to vvisit gam wwe dont wwant you gettin sick too   
CCA: you just go back to wwhat you wwere doin   
CTC: YoU gOt It BrO.   
CTC: i’Ll SeE aLl YoU mOtHeRfUcKeRs LaTeR.   
\-- CTC ceased responding to memo --   
CGC: TH4T W4S R34LLY W31RD   
CGA: Indeed   
CGA: How Did You Know What To Do To Deal With Him   
CCA: wwhen he flipped out earlier this swweep an eq an I had to sort him out i kinda learnt howw to get his attention   
CCA: its not that hard   
CGC: > :|   
CGA: Who Are You And What Have You Done With Eridan Ampora   
CCA: jeez thanks for the vvote of confidence guys i reely appreciate it   
CGA: Eridan We Are Not Trying To Insult You   
CGA: We Are Merely Expressing Surprise At How Much You Have Matured In The Past Sweep   
CGC: Y34H   
CGC: YOU H4V3NT H1T ON 4NYON3 3V3N ONC3 DUR1NG 4LL TH1S   
CTA: eheheh.   
CCA: im startin to remember wwhy i stopped talkin to most a you in the first place   
CGC: 4DM1T 1T   
CGC: YOU M1SS3D US   
CCA: no   
CCA: no i reely fuckin didnt   
\-- CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC] RIGHT NOW rejoined memo --   
CTC: hEy ErIbRo.   
CTC: Do YoU tHiNk KaRkAt WoUlD lIkE a BlUeBeRrY oR aN aPpLe AnD rAsPbErRy PiE mOrE?   
CGA: Not Again   
CCA: gam i already told you kar didnt need any pies   
CCA: an he probably wwouldnt eat any pie you made anywway   
CTC: eVeRyOnE lOvEs A mOtHeRfUcKiNg PiE wHeN tHeY’rE sIcK.   
CTA: GZ you can’t 2ee KK. we don’t need you gettiing up2et.   
CCA: sick   
CTA: ye2, 2iick, that’2 what ii 2aiid.   
CTC: i FiGuReD i CoUlD mAkE sOmE bAkEd MiRaClEs AnD jUsT dRoP tHeM bY.   
CTC: iF i CaN’t SeE mY bEsT bRo ThEn ThAt’S cOoL, bUt It DoEsN’t MeAn He CaN’t EnJoY a MoThErFuCkInG pIe.

 

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] \--

TA: we can’t let hiim vii2iit.   
CA: wwhy not   
CA: one a us wwill just meet him at the door take the pie an then hell leavve   
TA: no he won’t.    
TA: iif he come2 here he’ll demand two 2ee KK and iif he doe2 that he’ll fliip hii2 2hiit.   
TA: do you really want two deal wiith GZ fliippiing hii2 2hiit agaiin?   
CA: wwell no but   
TA: but nothiing, he’2 not comiing.   
TA: eiither conviince hiim or dii2tract hiim.

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] \--

 

CCA: howw about you bake the pie an ill come pick it up on my lusus   
CCA: that wway itll still be wwarm wwhen i givve it to kar   
CTC: ThE mIrThFuL mEsSiAhS sUrE bLeSsEd YoU wItH oNe BiTcHiNg ThInKpAn, BrOtHeR.   
CTA: ok, good. agreement made.   
CTA: now go make your piie2 GZ.   
CTC: i’Ll FlIp YoU a MeSsAgE wHeN i’M aLl DoNe AnD sHiT.   
\-- CTA banned CTC from responding to memo --   
CTA: ok that got riid of hiim.   
CGA: Are You Alright There Sollux   
CGA: You Seem A Little   
CGA: Jumpy   
CTA: ii’m fiine ok. ii’m chiill.   
CTA: ii’m cooler than a 2outhern fliightle22 wiingbea2t weariing occular 2heiild2. iin wiinter.   
CGC: YOUR CL41MS OF COOLN3SS R33K OF D3C3PT1ON MR 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST   
CTA: are you dii2putiing my coolne22 TZ?   
CGC: YOUR COOLN3SS 1S A UN1V3RS4L CONST4NT, 1T C4N N3V3R B3 D1SPUT3D >:]   
CGC: BUT TH4T DO3SNT STOP YOUR L13S FROM S33P1NG THROUGH YOUR WORDS   
CCA: yeah sol   
CCA: you seem reely off   
CTA: ok fiine.   
CTA: clown2 creep me out. GZ iin partiicular.   
CGC: HOW COULD YOU S4Y TH4T 4BOUT H1M?   
CGC: H3S 4S H4RML3SS 4S 4 PLUSH CHOL3RB34R TOY   
CCA: i think ill side wwith sol on this one   
CCA: you didnt see gam wwhen he wwas sober   
CGC: F41R PO1NT   
CGA: For Now Let Us Just Hope He Is Too Busy With Pies And Faygo To Bother Us Again   
CGC: 4GR33D   
CTA: oh 2hiit.   
\-- CTA ceased responding to memo --   
CCA: huh   
CGA: What Just Happened   
\-- CTA banned CGC from responding to memo --   
\-- CTA banned CCA from responding to memo --   
\-- CTA banned CGA from responding to memo --

\-- CTA closed memo --

 

SOLLUX: oh 2hiit oh 2hiit 2hiit 2hiit 2HIIT.   
ERIDAN: sol   
ERIDAN: wwhats goin on   
ERIDAN: are you alright up there   
SOLLUX: ERIIDAN GET YOUR BLUBBERY A22 UP HERE!   
ERIDAN: wwell theres no need for in-   
SOLLUX: NOW!   
SOLLUX: II THIINK HE’2 WAKIING UP!   
ERIDAN: oh   
ERIDAN: wwell fuck   
SOLLUX: kk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the gap between chapters, I was vaguely going to attempt a chapter a day as they weren't too long but then life happened.  
> I'm not going to actively set goals in writing this, or come up with an overarching plot from the get-go because when I do that with my stories they end up semi-dying. I have no idea where I'm going with this, it's just a no-longer one-shot that developed too much plot.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed what I've done so far and will like what I write in the future :)


	7. Almost awake

KARKAT: huh...  
KARKAT: what’s going on?  
KARKAT: why am i so sore?  
SOLLUX: KK? KK can you hear me?  
ERIDAN: sol stop crowwdin him  
KARKAT: sollux? eridan?  
KARKAT: fuck, i knew i woudn’t make it into heaven.  
SOLLUX: he’2 mumbliing 2omethiing weiird. can you make out what he’2 2ayiing?  
ERIDAN: kar if you can hear me you need to lie still  
ERIDAN: wwere here to help you but if you movve too much your scabs wwill rip open again  
KARKAT: what are you talking about? you asswipes aren’t making any sense.  
KARKAT: fuuuuuuuuuuck, why does my head hurt so much?  
ERIDAN: kar i just said to lay still  
ERIDAN: sol you hold dowwn that arm  
SOLLUX: KK, we’re here two help you. ju2t plea2e 2tay 2tiill.  
SOLLUX: we don’t want you gettiing hurt agaiin.  
KARKAT: whatever, asshole, i’ll be fine. i just  
KARKAT: i’m just really tired.  
SOLLUX: KK? KK, 2tay wiith me!  
SOLLUX: open your eye2 KK!  
ERIDAN: sol dont shake him like that  
ERIDAN: let him sleep  
ERIDAN: i dont think hes reely meant to be awwake just yet  
SOLLUX: ok, iit’2 ok.  
SOLLUX: ii ju2t...  
ERIDAN: sol  
SOLLUX: DON’T TOUCH ME!  
ERIDAN: ow!  
ERIDAN: fuckin hell sol  
SOLLUX: ii’m 2orry ii’m 2orry ii ju2t  
SOLLUX: ii don’t know what two do.  
SOLLUX: he alway2 2eemed 2o put together and happy.  
SOLLUX: well, not happy. KK’2 not really a happy per2on.  
SOLLUX: but iit never 2eemed liike he would go out and do thii2.  
SOLLUX: iit wa2 alway2 hiim talkiing me down from the roof, remiinding me two eat and 2leep when ii went on a codiing biinge.  
SOLLUX: ii knew all the 2iign2 2o why diidn’t ii 2ee iit comiing?  
SOLLUX: why diidn’t ii help hiim two?  
ERIDAN: he hid it from all a us sol  
ERIDAN: dont beat yourself up about it  
ERIDAN: he spent so much a his time fixin other trolls that wwe didnt evven see he needed fixin himself  
SOLLUX: yeah...  
ERIDAN: although  
ERIDAN: i think there might a been another reason too  
SOLLUX: what?  
ERIDAN: did you see his eyes  
SOLLUX: they were eye2, 2o what?  
ERIDAN: you wwere too busy panickin to notice the color wwerent you  
SOLLUX: ...2hiit.  
ERIDAN: yeah  
SOLLUX: 2hiit, that actually explaiin2 a lot.  
ERIDAN: yeah  
SOLLUX: iit’2 no wonder we diidn’t 2pot anythiing.  
ERIDAN: yeah  
ERIDAN: you feelin a bit better noww  
SOLLUX: yeah  
ERIDAN:  
SOLLUX:  
ERIDAN:  
SOLLUX: ED, iif you 2tart two even hiint that you’re about two pale-fliirt wiith me ii wiil bla2t you out of thii2 hiive fa2ter than you can even pronounce one of your 2tupiid 2tuttered w’2.  
ERIDAN: i wwasnt goin to say anyfin i swwear  
SOLLUX: good.  
SOLLUX: ju2t thought ii 2hould cover that.  
ERIDAN:  
ERIDAN: can wwe agree right noww that nothin wwevve said here evver gets repeated  
ERIDAN: evver  
SOLLUX: god ye2, ii thought ii’d have two a2k that my2elf.

*DING-DONG!*

SOLLUX: ii’ll get iit!  
ERIDAN: okay ye2 fin by me  
SOLLUX: ii’ll ju2t  
SOLLUX: get goiing then.  
ERIDAN: yep sure go ahead  
ERIDAN: ill just wwait up here  
SOLLUX:  
ERIDAN:   
SOLLUX: thii2 whole thiing couldn’t get more awkward iif we triied, could iit?  
ERIDAN: nope

*DING-DONGDING-DONG!*

SOLLUX: ii’ll ju2t go get the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a short chapter for today, to be made up by a longer one in third-person next time. I think I'm going to aim for every fourth chapter to be third-person, I dunno. Let's just see how things go.
> 
> Also: Sorry the the psych-out, I don't actually plan for Karkat to wake up properly for a while yet, too many other shenanigan ideas bouncing around in my head. Plus, it's only been an hour or so since Sollux and Eridan first arrived, and even troll physiology doesn't account for waking up that quickly after so much blood loss.


	8. Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slowly fades in from thin air*  
> *gently and cautiously places chapter on floor*  
> *vanishes back into nothing before people can ask questions about her absence*

Sollux exited the room, carefully closing the door before performing a nearly flawless facepalm x2 combo. He didn’t know what he was feeling towards Eridan at this point in time and, as loathe as he was to admit it, his thinkpan was still in panic mode. Now was not a time to be searching for relationships, especially with the fate that awaited him in two perigees.

The yellowblood trudged down the stairs, now able to hear the _skrreeeeee_ ing of Karkat’s lusus as well as the occasional ringing of the visitor-alert chime. He reached the darkened food preparation chamber, which was a mess, and passed into the opening hallway, which was also a mess thanks to the door that he had literally blasted apart in his haste to reach his friend.

In the doorway was a young-ish oliveblood in what appeared to be a dark grey suit. He was alternating between peering into the darkness of the hive, pressing the chime and fighting against a large crabbeast lusus that was trying to push him inside. The lusus was the source of the irritated and panicked _skree_ ing. The troll must have spotted Sollux’s movement because he called out.

“Hello? Is there some person there? Mister Vantas? Your lusus escaped again and of course I would normally think nothing of it but for the rather insistent way he is trying to get me to visit your hive.”

Sollux sighed and stepped forward a bit more, the moon light finally reaching him as he stood in the doorway.

“KK’th buthy right now, but thankth for bringing hith luthuth back, I gueth.”

The oliveblood only stared. Not at Sollux’s eyes, which he was used to, but at the just starting to dry mutant bright blood that covered the psionic’s clothes and arms. Sollux looked down at the stains in slight disbelief himself, then broke the spell.

“Oh _shit_ ,” he muttered, and the oliveblood immediately turned and sprinted to a neighbouring hive, presumably his own. Sollux repeated the expletive, took two seconds to weigh the pros and cons of just destroying the troll’s hive with him in it, decided against it and dashed back upstairs.

He burst into the respiteblock, Eridan looking up in shock with his claws halfway to his specibus before recognising the yellowblood. Sollux went to a nearby garment container and pulled open the top drawer, scooping out the contents and shoving them into his sylladex. He repeated the process with the other two drawers and the contents of Karkat’s desk, not even looking at which card they were put in.

Eridan stared at these actions dumbfounded from his position on the floor. Sollux had started striding towards the ablution chamber before he found his voice again.

“Sol, w-what the hell are you doin’?”

“I forgot about the blood,” replied the psionic bluntly.

“W-what are you talkin’ about?”

“I forgot that I wath covered in KK’th blood when I anthered the door.” He was grabbing Karkat’s fang-scrubber and various other sundries by this point.

“W-what does that havve to do w-with anythi-oh...”

“I’d thay we’ve got about thixteen minuteth before the droneth get here, pothhibly leth. Have you got a thpare captchalog card?” Sollux stood in front of the recuperacoon, glazed eyes and twitching fingers indicating he was looking through an obviously full sylladex.

“I’ll take it,” said Eridan as he stood, walking over and logging the coon.

“ED, there’th barely enough room in my hive for two people, you’re not going to fit ath well.”

“W-we’re not goin’ to your hivve. Don’t you think the troll w-woulda described you ta the authorities? An’ you’re not exactly w-one to blend in w-with the crowd, Sol.”

Sollux paused in his weak attempts to pick up the unconscious Karkat, his bi-coloured eyes staring at Eridan as if he was about to ignore him and blast off anyway. After a few tense seconds he gave in, lowering his friend’s arm and head back to the ground. Eridan knelt down and scooped the boy up, cradling him in both arms with Karkat’s head resting against a shoulder.

“We’ll go ta mine,” Eridan said gently, still kneeling on the ground with Sollux. “There’s plenty a room and it’s not like the drones w-would bash down a highbloods door. We’ll be safe there, an we can invite the others ta stay if that’ll make you feel better.”

“Okay,” replied Sollux quietly before standing, staring at the floor instead of the violetblood. He walked over to Karkat’s husktop then with a bright flash of red and blue it exploded. Eridan just nodded briefly and stood himself.

The two of them headed to the back door unspeaking, both aware of the danger the three of them were in. Eridan placed Karkat on his lusus’ back then sat behind him, Sollux hovered in the air and waited for the seadweller to take off and lead the way. They were already several hundred metres away when they heard an anguished screech from Karkat’s now abandoned lusus.

“They’ll kill him,” Sollux remarked, his voice flat and emotionless. Eridan didn’t reply, but the corners of his frown twitched down slightly before returning to the scowl.

They flew silently for several minutes, not racing but still moving swiftly. There was a slight crackle of psionics near the seahorse’s tail as Sollux gave it a boost to keep it from tiring under the extra weight. Suddenly the yellowblood stopped in mid-air and Eridan had to wheel his lusus around to face him.

“What about my thtuff?” he asked, eyes wide behind retrieved glasses.

“W-we don’t havve time to get it. The drones’ll be at your hivve too.”

“Not yet they won’t. They’ve thtill got to trathe my ID to my hive, and I made that pretty difficult three thweepth ago.”

“Sol, w-we can’t risk it.”

“Fuck you, I’m not leaving my beehiveth to get trampled on by a bunch of panlethh thpikey droneth! Anyway, if I don’t go back for my beeth then techthpionage agentth could trathe data back to you, back to everyone!”

Sollux was yelling at this point, psionic sparks shooting out and dispersing in the air. Eridan paused and thought about the last statement. It was true that the techs could check the yellowblood’s computers for other contacts, but all they would get is messages sent across Trollian. Knowing Sollux’s stringent security measures they’d be lucky to get even that.

“It’s too risky.” Eridan shook his head, and made a motion to turn his lusus back around. “You can go if you really w-want but there’s no w-way I’m lettin’ them get Kar.”

“Fine,” said Sollux grimly. He began to fly off at a right angle to Eridan’s path before the seadweller called out.

“Sol! I’ll meet you at the Fang in an hour! Provvided you don’t get culled first.” He muttered the last part under his breath, the wind snatching away the words before they could be heard by the psionic. Sollux merely nodded then continued jetting towards his hive. Eridan sniffed, grimaced then continued on his own journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next two chapters will be in this style too, one following Sollux, one with Eridan. Then we shall return to your regularly scheduled trolllogs and memos.
> 
> EDIT: I lied. I feel like going back to the memo format for a bit so lets check up on the girls, shall we?


	9. Help Needed

\-- CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board 2crew thii2 ii’m ju2t goiing two u2e thii2 board for everythiing --

CGC: DO3S 4NYON3 H4V3 4NY ID34 WH4TS GO1NG ON?   
CGC: N31TH3R SOLLUX OR 3R1D4N 4R3 R3PLY1NG TO M3   
\-- CURRENT grimAuxillatix [CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo --   
CGA: Not A Clue   
CGA: I Have Not Heard From Either Of Them Since Sollux Closed The Last Memo   
CGC: S1GH   
CGC: WH4T 4R3 W3 SUPPOS3D TO DO?   
CGC: 4ND DONT JUST S4Y W41T   
CGC: YOU 4ND 1 BOTH KNOW TH4TS 4 HOOFB34STSH1T 4NSW3R   
CGA: What Else Is There For Us To Do   
CGA: We Cannot Help Karkat In Person As We Are Too Far Away   
CGA: We Cannot Even Offer Him Verbal Support Because As Far As We Know He Is Still Unconscious   
CGA: We Cant Do Anything But Sit Around And Twiddle our Claws   
CGA: We Are Condemned to Be Useless   
CGA: We Cant Help Now Just Like We Could nEver Help Him Before   
CGA: Which is Why He Edned up Like this in The First PLace   
CGC: K4N4Y4   
CGC: SHOOSH   
CGA: YOU ARE NOT MY MOIRAIL   
CGC: NO, YOUR MO1R41L SK1PP3D TOWN H4LF 4 SW33P 4GO W1THOUT S4Y1NG 4 WORD TO YOU OR 4NYON3   
CGC: 3V3N B3FOR3 TH4T YOU TWO W3R3 ON ROCKY GROUND   
CGC: K4RK4T 1SNT TH3 ONLY ON3 WHO N33DS H3LP R1GHT NOW 4ND VR1SK4 1SNT GO1NG TO TURN UP 1N 4 POOF OF OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3 P1X13 DUST 4ND G1V3 YOU TH3 P4PP1NG YOU N33D   
CGC: 1TS NOT YOUR F4ULT K4RK4T TR13D TO   
CGC: TR13D TO K1LL H1MS3LF   
CGC: H3 OBV1OUSLY H4D PROBL3MS TH4T H3 W4SNT T3LL1NG 4NYON3, H1S BLOOD B31NG TH3 L34ST OF 1T   
CGC: NON3 OF US S4W 1T SO NON3 OF US COULD H4V3 H3LP3D H1M   
CGC: 1TS NOT   
CGC: YOUR   
CGC: F4ULT   
CGC: SO SHOOSH   
CGA: ...   
CGA: Thank You   
CGA: You Have My Sincerest Apologies For Losing My Temper Earlier   
CGA: I Do Have One Question Though   
CGA: Should We Really Be Doing This On A Public Memo   
CGC: 1 DONT C4R3   
CGC: NON3 OF 1T M4TT3RS R1GHT NOW   
CGC: ...   
CGC: SOM3TH1NG SM3LLS L1K3 TH3 OC34N   
CGC: WHY DO3S 3V3RYTH1NG T4ST3 L1K3 S4LT?   
CGA: I Do Not Know   
CGA: Has Something Happened Nearby   
CGC: NO 1TS JUST   
CGC: MY F4C3 1S W3T   
CGC: HUH   
CGC: 1 D1DNT TH1NK 1 COULD DO TH4T 4NYMOR3   
CGA: Do What   
CGC: CRY   
CGA: Oh   
CGC: 1 THOUGHT MY T34R DUCTS W3R3 BURNT OUT 4LONG W1TH MY 3Y3S   
CGC: 1 GU3SS NOT   
CGA: It Seems To Me That I Am Not The Only One In Need Of A Moirail Right Now   
CGA: I Do Not Wish For You To Read Too Much Into This But   
CGA: Do You Wish To Talk About It

 

\-- gallowsCallibrator [GC] began trolling grimAuxillatrix [GA] \--

GC: M4YB3 YOU W3R3 R1GHT 4BOUT TH3 WHOL3 T4LK1NG 1N PR1V4T3 TH1NG   
GA: So Its Okay For Me To Lose My Calm And For You To Shoosh Me On A Public Memo But It Cannot Be The Other Way Around   
GC: H3 S41D H3 P1T13D M3   
GA: Ah   
GA: Well Then   
GA: I Understand Why You Feel This Is Not The Sort Of Thing Everyone Should See Then   
GC: 1 TH1NK H3 W4S GO1NG TO S4Y MOR3 BUT H3 COULDNT   
GC: NORM4LLY S331NG K4RK4T 4T 4 LOSS FOR WORDS 1S HYST3R1C4L, BUT NOT WH3N 1T H4PP3NS L1K3 TH1S   
GA: Terezi Before We Continue I Must Ask   
GA: What Is This   
GC: >:?   
GA: I Mean What Are We   
GA: I Would Be Lying To Say That I Do Not Feel Pity For You At This Moment   
GA: And Right Now We Could Both Use A Moirail   
GA: But Is That Really What We Want It To Be   
GC: WHY DONT W3 JUST C4LL TH1S FR13NDS H4V1NG 4 CONV3RS4T1ON 4ND S33 WH3R3 1T GO3S FROM TH3R3?   
GC: 1F TH1NGS DONT WORK TH3N W3LL JUST FORG3T 1T H4PP3N3D 4ND MOV3 ON   
GA: Very Well Then   
GC: ...   
GA: ...   
GC: 1 H4V3 NO 1D34 WH3R3 TO ST4RT, DO YOU?   
GA: No   
GA: I Must Say Im A Bit Out Of Practice On The Moiraillegence Front   
GC: Y34H   
GC: SO WH4T 4CTU4LLY H4PP3N3D B3TW33N YOU 4ND VR1SK4? 4 L1TTL3 W1NGB34ST TOLD M3 YOU W3R3 PL4NN1NG ON BR34K1NG UP 3V3N B3FOR3 SH3 V4N1SH3D   
GA: Well   
GA: To Put It Briefly My Feelings Were Not As Pale For Her As They Should Have Been   
GC: OOH, M1SS M1NT > :]   
GC: 1 N3V3R TOOK YOU FOR TH3 TYP3 TO L1K3 P1NK D14MONDS   
GA: Needless To Say It Only Shaded Redder Over Time   
GC: DO T3LL >:] > :] >:] > :]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now they'll talk for ages about this that and the other.  
> What say you, readers? Should they come out as moirails at the end of this or remain as just friends?
> 
>  
> 
> Gods, this whole fic is going to turn into one huge pity-party, I just know it.


End file.
